Building a Recovery Toolbox will give you the resources you need to work on your fear. Just like you can’t build a house without tools, you can’t brave your anxiety without the right resources.
The first tool you need is a Feelings Thermometer. You’ve probably never heard of it before. It’s basically a scale you can use to identify how anxious you are feeling. You can personalize your own scale. The one I use most often is a ranking from zero to ten. Zero means, “I’m completely calm and not anxious at all.” And ten is, “I’m panicking and feel like I’m going to die.”
Stay tuned for a FREE PDF at the end of this article so you can create your own Feelings Thermometer!
Here are some things I want you to know:
- Why it is important to make and use a Feelings Thermometer.
- How to make a Feelings Thermometer.
- Create your own Feelings Thermometer.
Why it is important to make and use a Feelings Thermometer:
Anxiety is a difficult feeling to experience. It can also be a difficult feeling to express or describe. Rating anxiety using a scale (my favorite is a numbered scale from zero to ten) will give you a more consistent way to describe how anxious you are feeling.
If someone says they are “very anxious.” That doesn’t give me a lot of specific information. Does that mean they’re having a panic attack? Does that mean they feel uncomfortable but can handle the situation? Is that just an average day because they feel very anxious most of the time?
Now, let’s say someone rates their anxiety at a nine out of ten. Now I know something more concrete. I know they’re feeling worse than the thing yesterday that was an eight out of ten. I know it’s not quite as bad as two days ago when they were at a ten. It’s easier for me to visualize how anxious they are feeling and put that in context with other triggers or uncomfortable situations.
If you create a scale it will be easier to organize your triggers to create your hierarchy. Building a hierarchy is an essential tool to have in your Recovery Toolbox. In order to do that, you have to break down your triggers based on how much anxiety they would cause. It is much easier to do this if you have a scale to reference.
Using a Feelings Thermometer lets you easily communicate with others about how you are feeling. I am a big fan of using your Feelings Thermometer with your support person (or people). It is a short and effective way to let someone know just how anxious you are feeling. It can also help you both make important decisions about what you can tolerate and when you need a break. (Or when something is way too hard for you to even attempt.)
Parents are usually surprised by how triggering different situations are. That’s because we can get really good at hiding our anxiety. When you can give a number rating, you can let other people know exactly how you are doing. (I would strongly encourage sharing your Feelings Thermometer with your support person.)
A scale is an unobtrusive way to communicate how anxious you’re feeling. If you’re in a social situation, it could be embarrassing to describe just how anxious you’re feeling. But a support person can ask, “What number are you at?” And you can give a one word answer. (Sometimes this exchange happens over text.)
How to make a feelings thermometer.
The technical term for a Feelings Thermometer is Subjective Units of Discomfort Scale (or SUDS). This basically means you have official permission to make your own scale. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.
- A Numbered Scale
- I think this is the easiest (and most straightforward) option.
- Examples:
- A 0 to 10 scale is my favorite.
- You could also use 0-7 or 0-100.
- A Color Scale
- Use colors to describe the categories of “Easy, Medium and Hard.” This is especially good for young kids.
- Examples:
- Green, Yellow, Red
- Yellow, Orange, Red
- The options are limitless, but don’t make complicated.
- A Word Scale
- Sometimes people don’t like numbers (and colors are too abstract). Choosing three words that describe the categories of “Easy, Medium and Hard” is all you need. (Don’t make this complicated.)
- Examples:
- Easy, Medium, Hard
- Rare, Medium, Well Done
- Level 1, Level 2, Level 3
- Smiley Face, Neutral Face, Frowny Face
- Slow Pitch, Fast Ball, Curve Ball
Choose which scale works the best for you. Don’t take too much time trying to figure it out. There is no perfect scale. I highly recommend the 0-10 scale. It’s simple and straightforward.
Create Your Own Feelings Thermometer
Use this FREE PDF to follow along and customize your own Feelings Thermometer. (If you are using the 0-10 scale, use the thermometer on Page 1. If you are making your own scale, use the one on Page 2.)
The next step is to personalize your scale. We’re going to do that by picking specific experiences that correlate with the high, medium and low point of your scale. This makes your Feelings Thermometer more concrete and easy to use.
Let’s say we’re using a 0-10 scale. First, I want to think of a time that my anxiety was at a 0. When was I feeling completely, calm, cool and collected?
Maybe it was on Christmas morning. Maybe it’s on a day off when I’m sitting on the couch with a great book. Maybe it’s when I’m hanging out with friends.
What is it for you? Write it down next to the 0.
Next we’re going to think of a time that my anxiety was at a 10. When was the moment that I felt the most anxiety I have ever experienced?
Maybe it’s when I had a super terrible panic attack. Maybe it’s that time I saw the huge snake. Maybe it was when my mom was an hour late coming home and she didn’t answer the phone.
What’s your 10? Write it by the 10.
Last, we’re going to figure out the 5, or the middle point. A 5 is halfway between the 0 and the 10. I’m not calm. But, I don’t feel as terrible as I could. I’m uncomfortable but not completely overwhelmed.
Maybe it’s when I had a challenging test in math. Maybe it’s when mom is 10 minutes late coming home. Maybe it’s asking a close friend to hang out with me.
Now (yes you’ve got it). Write your 5 on your thermometer.
Look at that! You’ve got an important tool in your Recovery Toolbox! Don’t skip it because you’re going to need your Feelings Thermometer to develop a Fear Ladder (or exposure hierarchy).
You can start using it right away to rate how anxious you’re feeling (and communicate that to others). Share your Feelings Thermometer with someone who is a part of your support team.
